Ask a therapist: Beat burnout with a personal retreat

In this Ask a Therapist segment, I cover how planning a personal retreat can help you practice deep self-care.

Personal retreats are something that I really enjoy doing. I aim for at least once a year, to try to take a personal, private retreat. A little mini vacation, just me by myself. I did this last weekend actually, and I was chatting about it with some clients and some friends and had multiple people remark, "Oh, I just feel like I really need that in my life." Or, "I've never thought about doing that." So I thought I’d just share some thoughts on it.

Especially now in the midst of Covid stressors, I think a personal retreat is more valuable than ever.. Just with all the stress we're going through, and our world being so small, and many of us working from home even, and not getting many changes in scenery. So a personal retreat is basically just planning a weekend away for the purpose of being refreshed. That you intentionally take it privately and you intentionally structure your time to be re-creative to you.

We typically talk about the word “recreation, “ as what hobbies we do for fun in our free time, but that word means to be “re-created.” And there's something about play, about creativity, about adventure, and about rest that literally does re-create us. So if you're feeling stressed, if you're feeling frazzled, if you're feeling stale... Yeah, I would recommend making time so you can experience being “re-created.”

What I did is just, I found an Airbnb not too far away. There are so many great options around here that you don't even have to drive two hours and you can be in a beautiful place close to nature, a really thoughtful, creative space. So I think knowing yourself, are you a person that you feel more alive and refreshed when you're in nature? Do you really appreciate the aesthetics of a beautifully designed space? What is it that makes you feel alive? And so, yeah, there's a lot of affordable Airbnbs that you can find all of those things.

I know for me, one of the top things I look for is aesthetics of a space. Because that, being in a really beautifully designed space just feeds my sense of creativity and reminds me of the importance of how space influences mood. I think one reason why they talk about cluttered desk, cluttered mind is our physical space really does have a lot to do with how we feel emotionally. And so getting into a space that's bright, natural light, that's clean, that's artistic, that's creative. You can really get an emotional boost, a spiritual boost, creative boost from that. So I find that super helpful, and I just notice that when I'm in spaces like that, I just feel like it's easier to dream. It's easier to think about possibilities. It's easier to be optimistic. So that's something I look for in a personal retreat.

Also being close to nature too, because it’s really peaceful and relaxing on so many levels. There’s research about even walking in the forest for 10 minutes and how it increases serotonin levels and decreases cortisol. Hearing birds, just things that we take for granted, but this stuff literally impacts our physiology. So that's stuff you can consider in a personal retreat, is proximity to nature.

And I think scheduling the time that is for you, what would make you feel at rest? And that can be sleeping in, that can be resting, not having a schedule, maybe watching some movies or something if you want to. But it could also maybe look like maybe not having any screen time, maybe totally unplugging, maybe reading books, or meditating, or journaling, or even creating something that you're working on. Outside of your job, but maybe a creative project, or just getting out and hiking. Using your body, doing yoga, whatever it is. Getting more into your body and less into your head. You want to think about, "How could I structure my time that would bring me rest?"

And then finally, what do you need in your spirituality? What do you need to feel fed, or feel rested spiritually? And incorporating some of that into your time. Maybe some prayer, maybe reading an encouraging book, or listening to music that helps you connect to God, or that you can express your spirituality that way, looking to build that in.

So when we think about just all the parts of ourself, our mind, body, spirit, emotions, looking at crafting a time away that is a little bit something for each part of ourself. I have a friend I was chatting with last week who is a mom, and she was saying she just noticed that her stress level was high. She felt like she was just a little more irritable than normal. She said, "This is not me.,” and she realized she just needed some time away. And she said she came back and felt so much better afterwards.

I know for me, taking time off of work and then just taking that weekend, I think for me, especially, it was just getting to be creative. Just getting to think about other projects or just other things that I'm interested in. And get to exercise that part of my mind, and my spirit, and myself, and take a break from the common scenery that we have every day. It can help just reignite that sense of adventure, that the world is good in spite of all the bad news that we're surrounded with, there's so much hope. There's so much to be optimistic about. We're going to get through this hard time in our history. And I think just sometimes changing the scenery is almost like changing the channel and can really give you a boost.

So consider practicing self-care by taking a personal retreat. Sometimes I think we don't give ourself permission to travel if it's not with friends or some big trip. But there's so much value in traveling even alone, and even going not very far. Even if it's a Airbnb across town, there's a ton of value in that and you're worth it. You're worth putting a little money aside and doing that. You don't have to spend a lot of money, but you're worth investing a little bit of resources to make that happen.

If you try it, reach out to me and tell me how it goes. I would love to hear about it!