counseling for people-pleasing and codependency
“I have always felt responsible for others. Now I have a place for someone to care for me. ”
people-pleasing feels like it is draining the life out of you.
To be honest, your relationships have been draining you for a while now. You have trouble saying no, and at the end of the day, all your time and energy has been spent trying to meet the needs of everyone else around you. There’s never enough left in the tank for you.
You feel stuck in a repeating pattern and you don’t know why. Resentment,anger, insecurity, jealousy, comparison, feeling undervalued, disappointed... You don’t know if it’s you, or if you just keep attracting the wrong kind of people, but you just know you’re tired of this pattern.
For as long as you can remember, you’ve always put others ahead of yourself. You’re used to being “the helper” in the relationship, and you’re scared that if others saw the parts of you that feel messy, they wouldn’t stick around. This leaves you feeling unseen and resentful in more relationships than you'd like to admit.
The energy it takes to always be second-guessing yourself is exhausting. You are constantly looking for the approval of others to feel ok about yourself, thinking "I wonder what they are thinking about me right now? Am I ok? Am I enough?" Your friends try to encourage you, but you feel like sometimes you need validation too much from them.
therapy for codependency and people-pleasing in tacoma, wa
My name is Kate Hagborg, LMHC, and I’m a therapist in Tacoma, WA . I can help you feel more confident, aligned, and fulfilled in your relationships—with others, and most importantly with yourself.
Relationships can be the greatest source of joy in our lives, but also our greatest places of wounding. Together, we can deconstruct the patterns you are experiencing in your relationships and help you heal at the source so that things can change for the better.
Most importantly, we will do this with immense compassion and help you learn to love yourself truly and deeply, first and foremost. We will help you learn to understand your emotions and how they are there to instruct you on how to get your needs met in relationships.
I will help you evaluate where your boundaries need a tune-up so that you don’t have to feel overwhelmed all the time. And we will help you understand the qualities of the kinds of safe and mutual relationships you want to build on going forward.
Imagine saying yes to others because you genuinely want to, not because you feel obligated. Imagine having the time, energy, and resources to meet your own needs and not feel guilty about it. That is possible for you!
you’re ready to start therapy in tacoma, wa
The therapeutic relationship is a powerful place to practice all these skills and more in a safe way. If you are ready to find your authentic self and experience relationships that are balanced, safe, and vulnerable, give me a call today to see if we’d be a good fit.
Frequently Asked Questions About finding a therapist in Tacoma, WA
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To make progress on helping you stop the people-pleasing cycle and improve your relationships, we will meet for a session once a week. Sessions are 50 minutes in length. By meeting weekly, we can stay on track with your goals and make progress quickly and consistently. When we schedule, we will find a recurring time slot each week that works for you.
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All sessions are online only at this time. Online therapy is an effective and convenient way to meet your goals. You can sign on for sessions from the comfort of your own space, and don't have to spend extra time commuting. Therapy for people-pleasing and codependency has never been as accessible and convenient as it is now with online therapy.
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There are better hobbies than therapy in Tacoma, WA! We will talk about graduation from our very first session when we work together. That's because therapy should be about making measurable progress toward your goals. In our first one or two sessions, we will get very clear about what you want to be different in your life, feelings, relationships, and behavior as a result of therapy. This will form our roadmap in our work together, and we will check in regularly to assess the changes you are seeing in your life as a result of our work together. If you aren't seeing results, we will adjust our methods to be sure that you do. We will define what it looks like for you to be free of people-pleasing, feel more satisfied in your relationships, and know how good it feels to be sure you are valuing and meeting your own needs, not just the needs of others.
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At this time I only work with adults aged 18 or older for individual therapy.
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It's normal to be a little nervous about therapy, especially if you've never done it before. You'll know you're ready to try therapy when you are curious to explore what it might be like to change, or you want to develop more understanding about some part of your life. You may not know what needs to change--that's ok! That can be part of the discovery process with your therapist. In your work, you can increase your self-awareness, which will also help you determine what trajectory you want for your life moving forward.
The most important ingredient for success is finding a therapist in Tacoma, WA whom you feel comfortable with so that you can develop trust with them and explore your feelings, behaviors, and experiences with honesty. Beyond that, the willingness to commit time, energy, and resources to the process is also important. Therapy can take time, so it pays to be patient. But you will likely start seeing some positive changes after just a few weeks of engaging with the process.