5 min for a self-love upgrade

This week I've been delving in deep into the Youtube wisdom of Dr. Gabor Mate, physician and expert in the realms of addiction, stress, and childhood development.  I came across his 5 minute talk about ways to grow in self-love and found it to be a short but powerful message (video below).

To summarize, Dr. Mate offers three keys for growing in self-love:

1. Compassion for the self.  "Something else is possible and you are worth that possibility." Dr. Mate talks about learning to recognize self-love as not just a feeling, but an attitude and an action.  Many of us struggle with emotions of shame, but are we also celebrating the ways we are already partnering with healthy self-love?  Every time we take time to prepare healthy food for ourselves, go on a walk, take a moment to breathe and acknowledge our inner world, ask a friend for support--these are all actions of self-love.  Let's give ourselves some credit and compassionately come alongside ourselves and say, "I see the ways I am growing and I honor the transformation happening inside of me." 

2. Courageously looking at the truth.  "[Looking at life] not how you would like it to be, but how it actually is."  It takes courage to set aside denial and to be honest with ourselves.  Are we engaging in behaviors that we know aren't good for us?  Are we using substances, food, binge watching Netflix, pornography, you name it, to numb pain?  This is where having compassion is crucial--it helps us set aside judgment and self-criticism and kindly look at the reality so that we can start the vulnerable process of truly healing and growing.

3.  Dis-identify from negative experience.  "Language identifies us with experience, it says 'I am that experience.'  Well, you're NOT that experience."  Here's the truth: You are not an anxious person, you are a person who sometimes struggles with anxiety.  Do you see the difference?  If I am an anxious person, I have little hope for change because I have adopted anxiety as my identity.  Instead, I can use my language to distinguish that anxiety is an experience I sometimes have, but not a descriptor of who I am.  Better yet, I can start identifying myself with the opposite of anxiety, which is the transformation I am currently undergoing-- "I am by nature a peaceful person learning to quiet anxiety."

If this resonated with you and you'd like help walking out this journey, counseling can help you overcome the barriers to self-love and and connect with who you are in a deeper way.  Click below to learn more.